Isn’t this always how it goes… one big life event happens right after another leaving you with barely anytime to breath in between? I feel like this is the only way we’ve ever known these last two years- living in constant movement.
For a little background, so you can either relate, or gasp at our craziness, Tyler’s master’s degree was in progress, we got engaged, I changed jobs, we planned a wedding, Tyler changed jobs, we moved, we got married, Tyler graduated (yay!), we bought a house, I changed jobs again, and we moved (again). That doesn’t even include everyone else’s life events that we were a part of, that is just us. I don’t know about you, but to me, that’s a lot to deal with. Especially coming from a person where change doesn’t come easily.
These changes can bring each their own challenges. It can be hard to accept change and insert yourself into this new world you’re supposed to adapt to. To us, key challenges were dealing with longer time apart for studying, the stress of dealing with wedding planning, the unknown of taking a new job and hoping it’s all you expected, picking up yet again and moving to a new town of unknowns, changing a martial status from single to married, and buying a home that comes with the stress of signing up for a 15 year commitment.
BUT- they also bring you to see a new beauty in life that you didn’t know was there until you experienced these changes. Before these changes occur, it’s all an unknown, but once they happen, you realize how positively they can impact your life and change your perspective. Let me share with you how I changed my view from these are crazy and this it all too much, to, I am so lucky and blessed to have this life.
The long few years of the Master’s Degree- when Tyler had any free time away from work, he used it to study. Almost anytime I saw him, he was studying. Although it was hard, we made sure that each and every time we had a day off together (maybe once every two weeks), we’d use it to do something we loved. We’d hike local state parks, go on long bike rides to the ice cream shop, kayak at Elkhart Lake, or just spend a rainy day binge watching Netflix with our favorite snacks and candies. Even though we weren’t spending a ton of time together, we made sure that when we did, it was quality time. That’s the beauty in it.
The stress of wedding planning- yikes. Where are my current brides at? You know exactly what I’m talking about. With all of the to-do lists and volunteers willing to lend a supportive hand, you just wanted to tell everyone that you got this. However, let’s be honest, without any of that support, your wedding wouldn’t be what you envisioned in your mind. I needed all of those people to help me make my day exactly what it was- perfect. I felt pretty loved to have all of those people willing to help. That’s the beauty in it.
Taking a new job- eeks. This one always terrifies me to no end. Did I make the right choice? Am I going to like my new team? Is this the right career path for me? How long do I have to sit in this position if I hate it? We both did this and we both struggle with this one. We definitely overthink to the point where we can’t eat and can’t sleep. There are just so many unknowns. But, after you do it, and see how sad, yet grateful your old team is for all of your contributions, and then how excited your new team is to have you and your skills that you bring to the table, it all makes you feel pretty accomplished. That’s the beauty in it.
Ohh, the dreaded move. Gosh, have we moved so many times together. From determining where we’re even going to live and hoping there is something available, to timing out the move from the old apartment, and not to mention adding in packing time, it becomes extremely hectic. However, what a great time to start fresh and declutter your life. Purge the extras and plan for the future. Through my current move, I’ve sold and gotten rid of all the extra clutter we have and it feels amazing. Out with the old unorganized mess, and in with the new! When else are you forced to look at everything you own and decide if it’s worth putting in a box to bring with you to your next destination? That’s the beauty in it.
Changing your martial status from single to married. That is a biggy! You don’t realize just how big of a step that is until it’s written out in paper and you’ve changed your name over on all your big important documents. You went that entire part of your life with that one name. It’s an end of an era, good-bye maiden name! It isn’t until someone amazing comes into your life and the thought of changing your name to theirs forever is just the perfect thing. It’s a bond. It’s the commitment. It’s being tied to your best friend for life in marriage. That’s the beauty in it.
Buying that first home. Another big change and commitment. Living life as an apartment dweller is all you know with minimal responsibilities and the ability to pick up and move where your next journey takes you. This home is signing you up for a 15 year commitment, the good, the bad, and the ugly, it’s all there for you…for 15 years. But, as newlyweds, we signed up for something that is ours and only ours. A place we can call home together. A place where we can maybe even grow our family some day. It’s a look into our future and where we can start our roots together. That’s the beauty in it.
How You Can Deal With New Life Changes
So, you need help dealing with change. Remember, you aren’t alone. We all experience life changes- it is a big part of life after all. Just lead with these three things and the rest will follow:
- Embrace the love and support you get- don’t push them away during the fear of the unknown.
- Give it time. Change is hard.
- Find the positives in all aspects of the change. You’ll be surprised at how they outweigh the negatives.